To Walk a Mile in Judas' Shoes

Recently, I have been in a very low valley, a very dry desert, and have been in a struggle that not many know about. I have felt shame and guilt and remorse for small things and major things. There have been days in the very recent past that I wallowed in pity, that I drowned myself in guilt, and was overcome with shame. In my mind I was unworthy and undeserving of the graceful hand that Jesus extends. I was/am broken, worn out, and on the last limb of this thing we call hope...

The last few days I have been thinking about scripture and I have found myself most identifying with one of the most infamous people in scripture, Judas Iscariot... yes, the disciple that betrayed Jesus. I have betrayed Jesus, I have sinned against Jesus. Like Judas, I have walked in his presence, been humbled by his love, observed his miracles, and have called his presence home. Like Judas, I have made conscious decisions to go against Him, to sin, to betray Him. I am just like Judas... I was trusted with much and gave in to the prompting of this world.

The more I see the similarities the more I want to dive into his (Judas) story.  This man walked for years in the presence of Jesus himself. He spoke with, ate with, traveled with, likely laughed with, likely cried with... Judas did life with Jesus and FOLLOWED him everywhere. Then he gave into the prompting of the Devil. He made a decision to betray the God/Man he had given his life too. It says in John 13:2 "The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus." Before the last super, before the bread was broken, Judas made a decision to hand over Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. His heart was worth that... Before we/I judge Judas, we/I sin for a lot less than that. I have sinned for moments of empty satisfaction, I betrayed Jesus.

The story of Judas continues in ways that I know I identify with even more... After this action Judas resents himself. He was struck with guilt and shame. I've been there. Man, I am lot like Judas. 

Judas returned his 'reward', then hung himself in his shame and guilt and remorse. Judas chose to pay his own debt... John 17:12 says this, "While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by^[a] that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled." Judas doomed himself to destruction... Judas hung himself with his own rope. Shame won, guilt won... death won... for now.

As I compared myself to Judas over and over, I was overwhelmed. I felt like Judas. I prayed in my shame and guilt... I spoke a lot of noise to Jesus, while trying to walk in the shoes of Jesus.

Jesus responded.

Jesus whispered to me... "I died so you don't have to be Judas. I died for you. For you, Shane. Don't hang yourself anymore. Death has not won."

I have labeled myself undeserving of this offer and have rejected it these last few months. I shunned grace because in my brain that can understand grace to the utmost (sarcasm) decided I was undeserving... So I cried back... 'I don't deserve it, I am unworthy'

Jesus whispered again, "You never will deserve it, but I decided 2,000 years ago that YOU were worthy. The cross proves my thoughts. Receive my grace."

Wow... 

Every day since this exchange, Grace has been overwhelming me. I am baby stepping back into a grace that is casting my sin as far as east is from west... This ocean gets deeper. And I worthy, not because of me... I am worthy because Jesus decided... Today the valley is a little less shallow, and the desert is a little less dry.

I don't have to put Judas' shoes on again.

Grace is for me.

Jesus is for me.

May Your Word to Me Be Fulfilled

Surrender. Complete surrender. Losing your life to find it. Where does this start in us?

In the Gospel of Luke, chapter 1, is this dialogue between Mary (mother of Jesus) and the angel Gabriel. The last thing that Mary says to Gabriel is one that challenges me daily. These words reveal the ultimate attitude and heart of surrender. It reveals a soul completely selling out to the will of our creator.

But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.” 

“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” 

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.” 

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.

~Luke 1:30-38 

An angel comes in with an earth-shattering, life-altering plan... a plan for a teenage girl that is engaged to become pregnant. A plan for her to put her's and Joseph's reputations on the line. In the depth of her faithful heart she replies with, 'I am Your servant, Your will be done'. This is the attitude of a surrendered soul, of a selfless heart, of a life given up.

This is something I pray for daily because we need this. This attitude of 'I am Yours'... the thing is, it is for our benefit. All he does ultimately will benefit us in an eternal way, but its always for His glory. Our benefit, His glory... We will never completely surrendered, our life will never be completely lost for Him until we live with the attitude of Mary... until our hearts can mutter the words, Your will be done to me.

I pray this for you reading this, for myself, and for my students.
Remember Luke 17:33, "Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it."

If you love...

This weekend I have been really challenged on what it means to love. I say I love, but do I? Do you? We all claim to love something, from our bf/gf/spouse, to our friends or family, to our job, or even our church. Since you are reading this, I am going to ask you to be honest with yourself and let these verses challenge you. It's ok if you are missing it in the area of love because now you and you can be conscious of the way you care for people.

^"9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. ¹⁰ Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. "

-Romans 12:9,10

With that being said, keep in mind that the purpose of this is to really love others. This is a challenge in love and in compassion; this will hopefully challenge the way you love.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." 

-John 3:16

I just want to highlight the cause and effect in this passage: 'FOR GOD LOVED, SO HE GAVE.'  He gave because He loved. This seems so simple right? Like I know he loved and he gave? But my question for you is what do you love? and what do you give? We see that God gave what was most precious to Him, He gave it all. Jesus gave His life. Before you even answer the question 'What do you give?', answer this, 'Do you give?'...

In this passage we see that the purpose for giving is simply because we love. Parents provide and give to their children because they love, just as our Father has given to us.  I think we miss it. I think we miss what it truly means to love each other with genuine affection and to truly honor each other.

We were created and we are all called for love and to love. As we look at John 3:16 we see that the love God has, compelled Him to give... If you truly love someone/something, you will give everything you can to them. You will give outside of your comfort zone of giving. You will honor them and care for them with genuine affection. This is how Jesus is revealed through us.  This is being the Church, this is being a disciple, this is being a servant, this is carrying our cross, and this is being the Light of the World. 

We love, so we give. And we give out of love. You CANNOT separate the two. If you love, then it will compel you to give.

The time you give to people reveals the character of Jesus in you. When you give out of love and you show compassion, then Jesus is revealed to the world.

What do you love?

    -your bf/gf/spouse?

    -your family?

    -your friends?

    -your job?

    -your church?

    -people?
    -JESUS?

I pray that you are able to give and to give all that you can, because He first gave. God Bless!

The Big MO... momentum

Lets talk a little physics. Don't give up on this because of the science. It gets easier. There is a term to describe the motion of an object. This term is momentum, or the Big Mo as I like to call it. So I don't try and sound smart to every one I am going to copy and paste from www.physicsclassroom.com/class/momentum/u4l1a.cfm.


"Momentum can be defined as "mass in motion." All objects have mass; so if an object is moving, then it has momentum - it has its mass in motion. The amount of momentum that an object has is dependent upon two variables: how much stuff is moving and how fast the stuff is moving. Momentum depends upon the variables mass and velocity. In terms of an equation, the momentum of an object is equal to the mass of the object times the velocity of the object."


Our equation is p = m • v


p is momentum, m is mass, and v is velocity.


I have been just thinking about this word non-stop the last couple of days. It's so heavy in my spirit to be a person that lives the idea of great momentum...
So for me, my equation, my momentum is measured in the impact I leave on this earth.


Momentum is often related to force and impact, that the amount of force is determined by the objects momentum. For an object to have momentum or to gain momentum, whether it is falling or forced, there is always a place of origin. If you push a boulder down a hill it will build and have a strong and almost scary momentum, but there is this place where you stand at the top of the hill that is the origin of the linear momentum.


A car can have great speed and momentum but you can't move the car until you turn the key and put it in drive. Are you with me? I see so many people, Christians and non-christians stuck in neutral. I see people crying out to God, and the whole time he is saying turn the key. Hopefully today, we can find you a place of origin!


Momentum is caused by ONE initial action and is maintained and increased through a series of actions. This initial action I call the origin these multiple actions I am going to call mobys or momentum builders. 'Mobys' is easier to say.  For you to become an unstoppable force of impact in this world we need to rewrite the equation a little bit. 
P(our impact on this world)=M(the Holy Spirit) x V(mobys)... this might seem a little ridiculous but stay with me.


The Holy Spirit is the mass because it needs to be the constant weight in our lives guiding and convicting and purging and prompting us. And our momentum builders is our velocity because this variable must be constantly increasing.


The very first momentum builder or moby is our place of origin. Maybe you're like me and sometimes you find yourself stuck in the motions of life, life seems to be flatlining. It's numbing isn't it? In Acts 9, there is the ultimate moment that is the origin of a person that had one of the biggest impacts on this earth. The conversation of Saul to Paul is one of the biggest moments in Jesus-momentum history. But for Paul this is his moment of origin! This was his, 'this changes everything' moment.


You probably aren't killing Christians but maybe you are in a place that you don't want to be. Maybe you are stuck in a sin that is slowly killing you, maybe you struggle with your value, or an eating disorder or suicidal thoughts or you maybe you simply forget about Jesus in your daily life and have gotten complacent and are 'too busy'... ALL of these positions is are in desperate need of moment of origin to sling-shot them into a momentous pursuit of what their Father has for them, has for you. Jeremiah reads shows exactly this: 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, YOU WILL find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will END your captivity and RESTORE your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.” 

 —Jeremiah 29:11-14 (NLT)

Another version says "you WILL seek me and you WILL find me"... it is a promise. This portion of scripture is saying, in your most desperate of moments, in your darkest of days, through regret, through shame, through hurt, through pain... it says just look and I am there. In this there is a promise of change, a means to an end. But there is another part, the restoration. This is the completion of the your place of origin and the start of your momentum.

I tell you this, our God is bigger than your issue and He is small enough to care about every detail of your situation! His love for you is fierce and is unceasing. The grace He wants to give you is more than you will ever need or be able to receive... and the hope He has for you is right there in front of you... now look.

I want you to take a second..... Pause.... for as long as it takes

This is your chance to seek and pray... please if you are in need of this, sincerely and wholeheartedly pray and cry out to Jesus.

Momentum starts with these initial moments when Hope and Love and Change come into the picture....

Momentum begins with the first step and its always the hardest and its almost always radical and drastic! This is a life-altering moment we are talking about!

Peter never walks on water, if he doesn't step out of the boat. Zacchaeus doesn't have the Messiah stay at his household if he doesn't climb the tree. For you maybe you need to confess a sin, get rid of an unhealthy relationship, have someone set parental controls on your computer, set up accountability, 

Momentum increases or builds through a trust and reliance in God. It takes us to pray THROUGH it all, to build.

These MOBY moments are times of intense prayer, a divine appointment, a miracle, an open door, a closed door!

Its really cool when your moments of impact or the momentum builders in your life have the effect of becoming another person's launch or place of origin. The awesome moment where you follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit and share the gospel is an amazing experience for you... but the seed you plant or even in that moment can be an earth-shattering, life-altering, momentum-launching moment for the other person. Momentum is contagious.

In a book I am reading, the author is constantly urging the reader to pray through the situation or miracle... in my opinion he's trying to issue a discipline to keep pursuing Jesus through the yes' and the no's and through the non-answers and through the hard times and through the best times of your life...

If you want, I would love to hear about these moments in your life! Either a place of origin or a momentum builder, share it with me. There is so much POWER in sharing what God is doing in your life.

Love you and God Bless!

The Sparrow.

The sparrow.  So small and insignificant to our daily lives. We don't think of these animals on a daily basis unless provoked by what we see. To say these animals are meaningless to our daily experiences is an understatement. There is so much beauty here isn't there? From the beautiful colors in the feathers to even the flight pattern of this creature, it has been perfectly constructed.  Certainly the creator of this was paying attention to every detail of every part of this bird.

Now we think about the people we care about most, and at the thought of losing one of them, just the thought, brings out tears.  These people are so precious to us. They carry so much value in our eyes.

There is a styling of scripture in the Gospel of Matthew that has captured my heart. Jesus is in the process of instructing his disciples to go out to and do miracles for the Jew.  He has just finished telling them that they will see opposition and will be called worse for who the serve. In the midst of this, in a poetic Jesus way, He stops instructing and brings a word of encouragement. It reads:

"What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows."- Matthew 10:29-31

Two of the things I take out of these 3 verses change the way I hang my head.  The first is this, that my God is always watching. That nothing is unseen. It all falls under the watchful eyes of the Father.  The second is this, that we are valuable and precious to God. For me, and I am sure for others out there, failure and sin cause me to devalue myself. It makes me feel worthless and undeserving of Jesus.  A good friend always tells me this, "Its a good thing its not about what you deserve." Isn't that the truth? That in the midst of my failure, there is a Father that treasures me and calls me child and has value on my life.

The image of a sparrow is one that is now ingrained into my mind as a visual representation of what I worth in the eyes of God.  That every hair is numbered? There is so much detail from every molecule of every component that makes me up; there is a God that cares about every detail of my life.

There is this word, Abba, used by Paul in Romans and by Jesus to describe the Father in Heaven.  This is an Aramaic word that is different than just saying father, its a more intimate expression.  It would correlate best with 'daddy' or 'papa'. Its a term of endearment... This helps us draw the conclusion that our Abba, our Daddy, is not a far of God.  It helps us understand that he cares and that we hold value and are precious in his eyes.

My prayer for those that are reading this and feel like their life is meaningless or that they aren't worth more than dirt, is that you would look to a God that shines his light on you.  I pray that you would know that He heals the brokenhearted and uses the weak to lead the strong. I pray that you know that the most secure and fulfilling place is in the arms of the Creator that gave His son so that you may have everlasting life. If you are in need of encouragement or truth, seek it out in scripture or from someone you know. Lastly, just know that you are cared about and that you do matter and that God has created you for GOOD and to prosper, just open your heart to True Love.

The Beauty in the Storm

Weather. In the state of Minnesota we will often have the craziest weather patterns; it will go from 80degrees and sunny to terrential down pours. In the summer, it seems that everything is all good and beautiful and then all of a sudden its cloudy, and cloudy leads to a little rain, and rain leads to these storms that cause destruction. Sometimes it happens so fast that we get caught unprepared for the situation we were just placed in.

These past couple days it has been such an inconsistency in weather that it has got me thinking, we can guess and predict but even the experts never really know what lies ahead.  We can try predict life, but the actual never lines up with the hypothesis. No one desires these lethal storms but they are unavoidable.

These storms often have an aftermath of hurt, pain, anguish, frustration, fear, and hopelessness; for everyone in the storm's path is left wounded.  For these storms, we usually have this mindset of "I can't wait til' its over" or we ask questions like "why can't this just be done?" and when it seems like we been in this storm forever we feel like we have forgotten what it looks like to have a nice, 75 and sunny day. In these situations it is so easy to forget what true refuge is.

A season of storms needs to be a season of not just remembering but a time to adhere to God's promises.  Hebrews 6:10-20 is a section of scripture that need to carry SO much weight in our lives.  These 11 verses should completely altar our attitude of unrest and hopelessness when not only going through a storm but in all stages of life. Hebrews 6:10-20:

For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do. Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance.

For example, there was God’s promise to Abraham. Since there was no one greater to swear by, God took an oath in his own name, saying:

“I will certainly bless you,

    and I will multiply your descendants beyond number.”

Then Abraham waited patiently, and he received what God had promised.

Now when people take an oath, they call on someone greater than themselves to hold them to it. And without any question that oath is binding. God also bound himself with an oath, so that those who received the promise could be perfectly sure that he would never change his mind. So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. Jesus has already gone in there for us. He has become our eternal High Priest in the order of Melchizedek.

This is what the Bible says about how God promises. Lets pull out a few key things: God is not unjust, He does not forget, He cannot lie, there is confidence for those who go to Him for refuge, and His promise is His oath and these never change. This is our God.

Back to these storms. I want those who are stuck in a storm and stuck being broken and weary and afraid and overwhelmed and hurt and frustrated and hopeless to hear one thing, STOP IT!! As a child I remember running to my mother every time the sirens went off, there was this sense of security. RUN to your father in heaven. He is and always will be your refuge.  Stop forgetting that Jesus got in the boat and calmed the storm (Matt.8). Here is a word from the prophet Isaiah:

Isaiah 25:4,5-

"But you are a tower of refuge to the poor, O Lord, 

a tower of refuge to the needy in distress.

You are a refuge from the storm

and a shelter from the heat.

For the oppressive acts of ruthless people

are like a storm beating against a wall,

or like the relentless heat of the desert.

But you silence the roar of foreign nations.

As the shade of a cloud cools relentless heat,

so the boastful songs of ruthless people are stilled."

In Matthew 8, even the disciples were afraid of the storm! And Jesus was there, walking with them! They cried out to Jesus and said "Lord, save us!" They thought they were going to drown. They were hopeless and crying out in fear. Watch what happens next:

²³ Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples. ²⁴ Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 

²⁵ The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

²⁶ Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.

Why are you afraid? We are human, fear happens, but WE CANNOT LET IT CONSUME OUR LIVES.

Back to Hebrews 6, remember the end of chapter 6 where it says, "Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. Jesus has already gone in there for us."


Hope. That is our ticket through the storm. It comes from his refuge and it is strong and trustworthy because Jesus has already done it. Hope is beautiful. Even in the darkest of hours and the most ruthless of storms, HOPE REMAINS. Cling to His word and focus on His promises, NOW it is time for YOU to remember HOPE because it is already there for you. Hope lies in what Jesus did, not your situation, and it sustains you through your darkest and biggest storm.


The BEAUTY in the STORM is that there is and always will be HOPE in our God's promises because He is eternally unchanging and He is for you and HE IS FOREVER.

redeeMEd

There is a certain freedom about just cruising the open road, isn't there? I know for myself, whenever I'm frustrated or I need to think I jump in the car and just go for a drive.  Even on road trips, just a view of the open road inspires a little smile.  Sometimes there is that little thrill a person can get at the 'not-knowing'.  Its almost intoxicating to think about where I was just 5 years ago, compared to where I'm at now. I'm in the most unlikely of places to anyone that knew me then.

Sometimes I think about what it was like for Paul.  Before Paul, there was this fellow known by the name Saul of Tarsus.  If you were a Christian at this time, this name ran chills up your spine.  It says in Acts 8 that Saul went everywhere to destroy the church.  He would go from house to house to throw Christians in prison. He was known for slaughtering the followers of Christ. So for me, when thinking about Paul/Saul, it just shows how strategic of a plan God had.  From the beginning to the end of Acts 9, Paul goes from eager to kill the Lord's followers to eager to deliver the Lord's Word.  The cool thing about this was that this man's words carried weight.  When one who was oppose suddenly stands up for something, people start to listen.

Paul carried on this road that God called him, by name for.  Through this time do you think Paul ever forgot where he came from? So why are we so eager to forget our past? In this life we get one journey and we are on one road and the birth and the death are connected by life in between even if you try and forget the bumpy patch you went through.  Going through 'hell' is terrible and we want to forget, but how do we appreciate the present and look toward the future without knowing where we've been?

1 Chronicles 16-
"⁸ Give praise to the LORD, proclaim his name; 

   make known among the nations what he has done. 
⁹ Sing to him, sing praise to him;
   tell of all his wonderful acts. 
¹⁰ Glory in his holy name;
   let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
¹¹ Look to the LORD and his strength;
   seek his face always.
¹² Remember the wonders he has done,

   his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced, ¹³ you his servants, the descendants of Israel,
   his chosen ones, the children of Jacob. ¹⁴ He is the LORD our God;
   his judgments are in all the earth."

Through our praise we must remember all the junk we've been through.  We must be able to remember the past in order to fully embrace our future.  At the same time, we CANNOT let our past define us.  We need to remember that through Christ, like Saul, we can be redeemed.  That there is forgiveness for those who seek it.  That there is a plan and God is calling YOU and ME by name. Paul was conscious of his past but was never defined by it. 

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." - John F. Kennedy

One of the definitions of the word redeemed, according to dictionary.com, 'to set free; rescue or ransom'. Remember that you have been purchased at the highest price.  Perfection took the place for you sin. Ephesians 1:7-10-

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth."

Remember what is in the middle of the word redeemed.  He has redeemed you. Just say it, "He has redeemed me! In His eyes I am worth it all!"... you are redeeMEd.